


WGA vs. Zombies

by Alixtii



Category: Actor RPF, Firefly RPF, Jossverse RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Apocalypse, Female Protagonist, Gen, Los Angeles, POV Female Character, POV Third Person, Present Tense, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-21
Updated: 2008-01-21
Packaged: 2017-10-02 14:04:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alixtii/pseuds/Alixtii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can't stop the signal. Not even with a devastation of zombies. Or, the one where Joss Whedon finally manages to get into Summer's hotel room, but ends up not having sex with her anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	WGA vs. Zombies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ari](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ari).



Summer is in better shape than Joss--now, that's the understatement of the century--and so she reaches the hotel room before he does, swipes her key and stands in the doorframe impatiently waiting for Joss to get inside, then closes the door behind him as quickly as she can.

"How long do you think that'll hold 'em?" Joss asks, but Summer just shrugs; it's not like she knows any more about zombies than he does. Less, almost definitely--which is not to say Summer knows nothing about zombies, just that she's in the room with Joss Whedon, king of the fanboys.

And it's her bad luck--Joss's fault, of course, as usual, although Nathan would find some way to blame it on her--that she is, too. There is no reason to send zombies after her, or at least very few reasons and she is fairly certain Linda Hamilton doesn't know voodoo.

Whereas with Joss--well, sending out zombie hordes to slaughter WGA members and scare the rest into submission seems a little harsh, but these are the studios they're talking about.

Joss has his cell phone out and is dialing Kai's number. "Pick up," Joss mutters, but the message goes to voicemail. "Shit," Joss says, then adds, "Honey, Summer and I are being chased by a devastation of zombies. Love you, and I hope you're still alive." His voice is not nearly as hopeful as his words.

The same thing happens when he calls Alexis and Aly. At Amy's one of the Ackerlings picks up but, being all of three years old, is unable to effectively communicate any useful information.

"I'm sorry," Summer says, taking a step closer and resting a hand on his shoulder. She pauses, but there is a rampaging zombie horde outside the hotel room. "Now what do we do?"

Joss looks up. "Somebody has to be controlling these things somehow. You need to find out what they're using, and destroy it." He pulls her closer to him, kisses her on the forehead. "It's probably in the studio offices somewhere."

Summer has noticed Joss's use of the second-person pronoun and has decided she doesn't like it. "I' not leaving you here, Joss."

"It's me they're after," Joss says, looking at her with imploring eyes. "They won't go after you if we split up."

There is no way that Joss Whedon can take on a horde of zombies on his own. Summer's not sure what she can do either, but at least she has months of fight camp to draw on, even if these zombies won't be pulling their punches. They stand a better chance of surviving together. "I won't be known as the actor who let Joss Whedon die."

"That would be killer to your career," Joss admits. Not that she cares at all about that when Joss's life is on the line, but the joke represents a reluctant concession. Joss knows when he can't win an argument, as rare as such an occurrence may be in Summer's experience.

"Anything that can hurt them?" Summer asks, making her way to the room's small kitchenette. "Silver bullets, salt water?" She's seen a couple episodes of _Supernatural_.

She's running on adrenaline now. sublimating those parts of Summer which are scared out of her frakking mind and letting River, Cameron, even Tess take over. She knows she has to be the brave one, that if she lets on for just a moment how afraid she is Joss will probably end up curled in a a ball in the middle of the room crying like a baby.

It's okay. Joss has always watched out for her, bringing her onto _Angel_ and then _Firefly _and _Serenity_ and giving her good advice as she considered other projects. Now it's her turn to look after him (yes, the parallels to _Serenity_ have not escaped her), to be strong for the both of them.

"I don't know," Joss snaps, and already he's beginning to wallow in self-pity. "I just made TV shows. This is _real_."

"Damn right it is," Summer says, pulling a fire extinguisher off the wall and handing it to Joss. "And you're going to make TV shows again, soon as this strike is over. You can't stop the signal, Joss. Not even with zombies."

She picks up the largest frying pan the kitchenette has (still rather small) and walks to the hotel room door, ready to show the studios that if they are going to fuck with the WGA, they'd better be ready to take on the SAG too.


End file.
